What if we made a decision, right here...right now...that taking care of ourselves and putting our needs first...was to be a top priority? Novel concept, eh????
Day in and day out, I speak to women whom are hanging on to their sanity by the tiniest filament of thread...how each and every day is a struggle for them to find that place of peace...unable to carve out time that is simply their own...or even to find a place...where they can just sit...and be...And I wonder...if...just maybe...possibly...we were to give ourselves permission to tend to our own needs...that it might be easier for us to find the time for sitting with ourselves...and extending the compassion and care that is so needed in the tender places of our soul...that we would be able to better navigate through the roadblocks and demands of our day????
I don't know where we women got off track...I don't know if it was the women's movement of the 60's & 70's...or the "you can do it all" movement of the 90's and beyond...but somehow...as a gender we have lost our way...and in the process, I feel that we have lost touch with the most essential part of our nature and what it means to be a woman.
I struggle with "doing" as opposed to "being" on a daily basis. I am the woman that has worked three jobs at one time...attended all the proper functions and sporting events of my children...tended (the best I could) to the needs of my husband...all while trying to carve in a piece of sanity and soul nourishment into my day. Unfortunately, it took me many, many years to realize...that doing more and trying to have it all was contrary to my essential "being" as a woman...What I was really yearning for was the time to just sit...and feel...to be fully present to the messages my soul was sending me...
I searched high and low for validation...I looked for it in other women...in society...by measuring the financial success of myself, creativity...and you know what...the harder I looked, the more elusive the validation seemed to be...so I worked harder...took on more responsibilities...and the more I put on my plate to prove my worthiness...the less I felt worthy...and one day, I could give of my self no more...so I ran away...and I drove...and I drove...and I drove...until I found myself at the Beach looking out at the rolling waves...
I could not get my bare feet into that ocean fast enough...I parked my car...threw off my flip flops and ran into the cold water...feeling nothing but a vast emptiness...and a gut wrenching sadness...where was my peace? my feeling of belonging??? my self worth????? Here I was standing at the edge of the ocean with the cold water lapping at my feet...and I felt nothing but loneliness and isolation...and the sadness that comes with both...disappointed...I walked to dryer ground...and I sat down and I cried...
Weeks later...I can now look back on that day and discover the gift in my solitary journey to the sea...the gift I gave to myself...out of necessity...was the gift of saying "no more"...no more woulda, coulda, shouldas...the time is now...you need to go...so that you might learn the importance of paying attention to the messages in your soul...so that you might find the space...to sit with yourself and just B E. For you see...it is in the "being" that we women, allow ourselves the time and the space to F E E L.
When we get so caught up in caring for others, buying into the societal dictates of what makes a woman worthy, or being swallowed by the drama of our daily lives...we forget what it means to be a woman...a feeling creature...a person that operates from her heart space. And so...I say to all of you...if you have been feeling disconnected from your self...your life purpose...your worthiness...stop everything...and do whatever is necessary to find the space for "being"...and once you find that space...allow the emotions to come forth...to be felt in their entirety and intensity...for only then...when we can be truly present to our selves and our true nature...can we start the process of healing and living a life that is honoring of us and our gifts...
Start today...don't waste another minute searching..."all you need lies deep within your soul"..."waiting to unfold and release itsself"...if you will only pause long enough to listen...
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